4-cowards and heros

4

Cowards and Heroes

“Exactly why am I going to fix him then?” The Doctor asked, staring like everyone else, at the Mexican.  He was tied to the chair in one of the many large conference rooms on the rig.

“I’m kinda with The Doctor.”  Thad chimed in from behind Ein.

Ein sighed, looking at the situation.  Everyone stood just inside the room behind Ein and The Doctor.  Harriet and Thad stood directly behind Ein and then the Doctor’s girls peered over the top of them.  Ein suddenly felt like a lemming.  With that thought came an urge to step forward.

“L-L-L-Look,” Ein started nervously, “we can’t just let him die.”

Ein was nervous now, looking at the Mexican.  The gash on his head looked bad and the blood ran down his face and was beginning to drip off his chin.  This was the first time in Eisenhower’s whole life that he had been in a physical confrontation.  Now it looked like he might have just killed someone.

“Didn’t the guy just try to kill you with a machete?” The Doctor asked.

“Well…er…um…yeah.” Ein answered

“And correct me if I’m wrong, but we are in international waters.” The Doctor continued.

 Ein wasn’t following.  “So?”

The Doctor sighed then stepped forward and put both his hands on Ein’s shoulders.  “So let’s drop the fucker over the side and go back to the fiesta!”

Ein’s face contorted.  He then slapped The Doctor’s hands away, “Good God, don’t you people take oaths?!”

The Doctor bobbled his head, “Well yes, but not until we graduate.”

“OH MY GOD!” Ein yelled.  “Just fix him!”

The doctor became frustrated.  “Then what, hero?  The boat isn’t coming to pick us up for another 6 days!  You just gonna leave him here?  Tied up?  What if he gets free?”

Ein’s resolve kicked in, he felt seven feet tall today. “I’ll knock him out again!”

The Doctor began to shake his head and Ein stepped up, “You fix him or you swim back to L.A.”

The Doctor’s face narrowed, “You are talking like you are a whole lot taller then you really are.”

“Yeah… well… I knocked out a psycho who was trying to kill me with a sword today.  I’m pretty sure I can take The Doctor.”  Ein responded, still sounding slightly unsure, but there was a resolve to him that was unquestionable.

The Doctor picked up his small bag of medical supplies and walked over to the Mexican and began to work.  The Asian girl stepped up to Harriet and whispered, “Did Ein really knock that guy out with a pipe?”

Harriet grinned, “You see the gash on his head, don’t you.”

“Cool beans.” The girl said in awe.

Thad overheard the girl’s conversation and decided to chime in.  “Well, I brought him the pipe.”

Harriet and all of the girls looked at him with little more than disgust.  Harriet turned back to the Asian girl.  “That was before he ran away screaming.”

The girls all laughed at Thad and then ignored him.  Thad frowned and backed away, mumbling to himself.  “The guy had a machete for fuck’s sake.”

Ein watched as the doctor pried open The Mexican’s eyelids and used a flashlight to check the pupils.  Inside, Eisenhower was begging for The Mexican to be okay.  He didn’t want to end up a murderer.

“Well, he’s got a nasty concussion, but I think he’s gonna be okay.  I’ll just stitch up the head,” The Doctor said, putting away the flashlight and snapping on some gloves as he pulled out the stitching.

“You think?”  Ein asked, desperately wanting more than that.

The Doctor took a deep breath.  “Keyword ‘student’, jackass, so ‘think’ is the best I have for you.”

The Doctor threaded the needle then stepped in close to the cut, cleaning it with rubbing alcohol.  He then began the first stitch, slowly inserting the needle-

AHH!

The Mexican woke up, screaming from the pain and violently pulling at his restraints.  The Doctor leapt backwards, as did Ein and everyone else in the room.  One of the blondes turned and bolted out the door.

Directly after the scream, there was nothing but silence and the sound of The Mexican breathing hard as he looked back and forth around the room and at his surroundings. Suddenly breaking the awkwardness, The Doctor began a weird half terrified, half scared laugh.

“Wow, so he’s awake.”  

****

They had just arrived….

Eisenhower and Thad stared in disbelief.  They were completely confused.  Ein slowly looked down at the unofficial owners’ manual that he held in his hand.  He had made it from various print out information off the internet about this particular rig.  Whatever he looked for in the book he couldn’t find.

“You said this was decommissioned, right?”  Thad spoke with a huge amount of confusion.

Ein slowly looked back up from the book.  “Yep.”

“Decommissioned means ‘off,’ right?”  Thad continued to stare.

“Conventionally… yes that’s what it means.”  Ein said, staring with him.

After the ship dropped them all off and they had moved their stuff onto the rig and their only way to land and sailed off, not to return for seven days, the majority of the group had gone off to find living quarters and claim rooms for themselves, whereas Thad and Ein had gone to find the generator room.

The place was so much bigger than Ein could have imagined from the information he had collected.  There were rooms upon rooms, with multiple levels.  The rig itself was a semi submersible, meaning just under the water there were massive flotation devices keeping it afloat.   A long hull stretched below the surface of the water with the pipe leading to the ocean floor, deep under the Atlantic.

Ein had been worried most about the generator because no matter where he looked, he could not seem to find any real information on the power supply to the rig other than that it was ‘self sustaining’.  The one thing he was positive of, was that he wouldn’t find the generator working.

This is exactly what they got.

“So… why is it on?” Thad asked still confused.

The stupidity of this question snapped Ein out of his confused mesmorization, “How should I know?”

Thad frowned, “Well you’re the expert!”

Ein shook his head.  “I’m a liberal democrat who protests for a Green World.  How, in God’s name, does that make me an expert on decommissioned drilling platforms?!”

“You got your little book thingy!” Thad said, waving his hand at the three-ring binder.

Ein gave up and approached the control panel, trying to figure things out.  The dials and buttons where a foreign language to him.  He had a sudden feeling of panic.

What the hell am I doing here?

They were on a decommissioned oil rig that none of them knew anything about, all alone for seven days in international waters with way to much alcohol.  Nothing good could come from any of this.

It was going to be a long week.

“Here you guys are!”  Harriet said from behind them, as she walked into the room.  “You know the place has power?”

“Funny you should mention that, Harry.  The professor was trying to unravel that mystery before you walked in.” Thad responded sarcastically, taking a shot at Ein who spun angrily.

“Y-Y-Y-Y-You’re an idiot!”  He yelled at Thad.  “This is wrong.  All wrong!  Doesn’t anyone think of what could happen?  Why this is working?  Someone has to be-“  Ein’s rant was cut off by Harriet.

“Really, really uptight?”  Ein stopped and stared at Harriet who continued, now that he had her attention.  “Relax, power is a good thing.”

Ein took a deep breath, but still needed convincing.  Thad, however, was just fine.  “No, we need to find the kitchen area and get the beer and food in the fridge.”

Thad started off down the hallway.  Harriet moved over to the fuming Ein and took his wrist.  “It’s a week.  What could happen?  Now, let’s go.”

Ein blushed at the touch and his anger and indecision melted away.  She was right.  It was time to have some fun and stop worrying.  He walked with Harriet back out of the room.

What was the worst that could happen?

Ein thought this as they left the room, completely unknowing of the shadow that moved behind them.

Suddenly, Ein was alone with Harriet as they walked down the hall.  Everything began to slide into place.  Ein had always had a hard time letting things go.  He had always had a hard time taking it easy.  Since he had met Harriet, though, she had a way of bringing him down and helping him live.  Harriet showed Ein how to live life, not just move around it.  Ein looked at her face and realized how much he needed her, how much he needed her to know how he felt.

“Harriet,” Ein’s voice took a serious tone as he stopped her by grabbing her elbow lightly with his right hand.  “I have b-b-b-been meaning to talk to you.  I… er… mean to tell you.”

Harriet looked confused.  “What’s up, Ein?”

“Well, I… er… I think I may-” Ein was cut off as the shadow behind him became a person, a large scary Mexican with a machete…

…or sword depending on your perception…

TO BE CONTIUED…  

     

3-Get This Party Started

3

Get This Party Started

Harriet was not stupid.  She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she could not physically take down the toned, Mexican death machine.  The three of them, together, might have a chance.  Thanks to Thad’s constant fear of being maimed and Ein’s basic lack of stature, it was up to her to give them the opportunity.  She saw that the only path to do this was to take the large and certainly sharp Machete out of play.

Harriet dove onto the man’s outstretched arm, wrapping both arms around his and locking her body.  He immediately started to try to wrench himself free, but Harriet held tight.  She held tight with a purpose.

The scream echoed through the hallway with such volume that everyone, including the Mexican froze in their tracks.  The struggle was momentarily halted to watch the spectacle of Thad, screaming like a female victim in a Wes Craven slasher-film.  Thad then turned and bolted at full speed in the opposite direction, his wail continued to echo through the hallway.

Harriet, the small woman that she was, dressed only in a bikini top and a pair of cargo shorts, grasped a trained killer’s Machete hand for dear life.  She stared down the hall as her friend vanished.

She shook her head.  “You have got to be kidding me!”

Harriet’s sarcastic remark seemed to wake everyone up to the situation that was at hand and the Mexican, yet again, tried to pull free, almost succeeding this time, catching Harriet of guard.  Harriet, however, wasn’t giving up that easy and held on for dear life.

It was all in Eisenhower’s hands now, poor, little, cowardly Ein.

Harriet couldn’t help but think they were doomed as Ein manage to break free and went to the floor as if to scramble away.

Just great, I’m going to die for a couple of cowards.

No sooner did Harriet think that, when Ein came from the floor rising and whirling Thad’s pipe in his hand.  With a wet thud, the pipe connected to the side of the assailant’s head.  The Mexican’s body went limp and his head dropped to the metal floor.  Blood was seeping from his wound.

Harriet stared down at him breathing hard.  She spun and looked at Ein, whose face was racked with torture.  Had he just killed a man?  Had Eisenhower Mills just broken a man’s head with a pipe?

“Get some rope,” Ein said, suddenly catching his breath.  “I’ll watch him.”

“Are you okay?”  Harriet asked, earnestly.

Ein shook his head, “I don’t even understand the word anymore.  Just get some rope.”

Harriet nodded and began to run off when Ein caught her arm with his left hand.  She looked back as he said, “And Harry, we are going to need the doctor.”

****

Who’s The Doctor you ask?

“You invited the doctor?”  Ein yelled in shock and anger as the entire pier looked their direction, including the ship captain who was preparing their boat for the ride to Ein’s new oil rig.

Thad grimaced.  “Calm down.  What was I supposed to do?”

“A lot of things, Thad,” Ein responded.  “None of which involved inviting the one guy, beyond all others, we can’t stand!”

Thad frowned, “Come on.  How else was I going to get chicks to come along?”

Ein stared at him, “Let me ask you this Thad, how are we going to get anywhere with these chicks while he’s making us look like idiots?”

Thad rolled his eyes, “It won’t be that bad!”

It was, at this point, that a car horn sounded.  This was no ordinary car horn, it was loud, tornado warning loud.  It instantly pulled Ein, Thad, and everyone else’s attention to it.  The horn belonged to a large, very shiny, orange Hum-V.

“Here we go.” Ein muttered.

The Hum-V parked and the doors opened.  Women seemed to pour from the sides.  All were wearing bikinis that could barely be considered clothing.  They were all giggling as they got out, and seemed happy with their lack of ambition.  With that, the driver’s side door opened and, in what seemed like slow motion, out stepped a man.

He stood six-feet, two-inches tall and had chiseled features, resembling the actor Bradley Cooper.  His hair was short and slicked back with a shine to it that dazzled in the afternoon L.A. sun.  He had on no shirt, which showed off his tight six-pack abs and toned upper body, which was peppered with, what felt to Ein to be the perfect amount of chest hair.  His eyes, which were of course blue, were covered by dark reflective Aviator sunglasses.

Chad Sorin.  The doctor.

They had met the Doctor a couple of times before.  He was a pre-med student, looking to be a surgeon.  At least during the day, he was.  At night, he was the Playboy of the year, moving from bar to bar taking what he wanted of the female population and leaving his seconds for Ein and Thad.

Not that they had much luck with the seconds, let alone the firsts.

The train of woman moved past Ein and Thad and onto the boat, which made the boat captain (who up until this point had been very hard to deal with) downright pleasant. The doctor walked up smiling.  And why wouldn’t he be?  People like the doctor never had reasons to frown.

“Nerds!”  He said, then threw his hands to his sides as if shocked that they could pull something like this off.  “I must say, I never thought I would be spending spring break anywhere near the two of you!”

Ein faked a smile.  “Right back at you.”

The doctor picked up on the sarcasm and cocked his head to one side to look at Ein.  “It’s Eisenhower, right?  How does it feel to have a dog’s name, chief?”

Ein grumbled under his breath and the doctor’s smile widened.  “Oh, come on!  It’s all good, brother!”

The doctor then slapped Ein on the shoulder.  “We’re all friends here, right?”

Ein, rubbing his shoulder where the doctor had hit it, opened his mouth to say something, but Thad cut in.  “Thanks for coming Chad!  Man did you bring some fine honeys.”

Chad turned back to Thad, then to the gaggle on the boat.  “What?  Oh yeah, I guess so… I have done better, but it’s all about quantity this week.”

“Who are they?”  Ein asked, stepping between Thad and the doctor.

Chad looked confused.  “The women?”

Ein sighed.  “Yes, do they have names?”

The doctor seemed to grimace in pain, then turned toward the flock and began to point them out one by one.

First the red head, “That’s Stephanie.”

Then he pointed to one of the two blondes, “Candice, but she likes to go by the name Candy.”

He punctuated the last statement with a dirty like laugh then pointed at the brown haired and the black haired girls, “Sarah and Sandy.”

He then went back to the other blonde.  “Tiffany.  God, I love the Tiffany’s.”

Finally, he pointed at the woman of Asian descent, long black hair up in a ponytail.  “And her.  I have no idea.  Let’s just call her Egg Roll.”

Ein’s face exploded with shock.  “What?  I’m not calling her that!”

The doctor laughed now, louder and more obnoxious then he should have, given the situation.  “That’s what I like about you, boss, You have that old school chivalry thing going for you.  You probably don’t ever get laid like that but, hey you’re one of the good ones.”

Ein’s nostrils flared and his eye twitched as the doctor laughed and hopped into the boat after his ladies.  Thad smiled, then looked at Ein whose face was twisted in rage.

“You’re a moron.”  Ein said with complete ice in his tone.

“What did Thad do this time?”  Harriet’s voice came from behind them and they turned to see that she had made her way down the pier, finally arriving for the trip.  Ein was flabbergasted as he stared.  She was in a bikini top with a very thin white over shirt, unbuttoned in the front and blowing in the sea air.  Her hair was lose and writhed around her head and glasses like something out of a dream.  Eisenhower was stricken…

“Earth to Ein,” Harriet said, snapping Ein out of his day dream.

“What?” Ein asked.

“What did Thad do that made him a moron?” she asked a second time.

“Nothing Harry, I just-” Thad began, but Ein raised his hand and silenced the tall thin man.

Ein then pointed on the boat.  Harriet’s gaze followed the figure and as she saw what waited for her, the smile dropped off Harriet’s face.

“You invited the doctor?” she asked, miserably.

“I don’t see what’s so bad about that!” Thad said, frustrated but Harriet just shook her head.

“Thad, you’re a moron.”

TO BE CONTIUED….

2-With Friends Like These

2

With Friends Like These

Thaddeus Montgomery Turlington tried to control his breathing as he hugged the wall, his brain filing through all the bad events that could happen from what he was thinking of doing.  He briefly wondered if Spider-Man ever worried about the bad crap before he swung in, to make the save...

…probably not.

Thad gripped the pipe so tight that his knuckles went white.  He was a tall skinny kid about six-feet, five inches tall and maybe 185 pounds soaking wet, whereas, the ripped, shirtless, Mexican death warrior from hell who had Thad’s best friend at Machete point looked like he could take Thad apart with his bare hands.

Ein was Thad’s best friend.  What was Thad supposed to do?  Just sit there in his swimming trunks and flip-flops waiting for his buddy to be cut from ear to ear?  This party was beginning to suck, big time.  Thad peeked around the corner again to make sure the unknown Mexican machete master was still looking at Harriet.  He was.

Thad took a deep breath, centered himself and raised the pipe.  It was now or never.

Time to be a hero...

Thad moved out around the corner and his flip-flops immediately clip-clopped on the metal of the oil rig floor in the corridor.  This instantly notified the Mexican of his presence.  The Mexican spun his machete point, stopping inches from Thad’s face.

Thad dropped the pipe without hesitation, which clanged to the metal floor with a loud echo.

“I am really, really, really sorry!”  Thad desperately begged, as he stared down the blade.

Harriet, however, saw her chance.  She took a deep breath.

Time to be a hero…

****  

Before everyone was trying to be a hero.

“So your father, the long lost one, is Harrison Holster?”  Harriet asked in a low whisper, so as not to bother the rest of the library patrons.

Ein shrugged, then kind of nodded.  “Yeah… er… well, no, or he was anyway.  As it turns out, he’s dead.”

Harriet responded with a cold expression.  “Well, good.  Not for you, but the guy was a dirt bag.  I mean, didn’t we help organize a protest on his company’s safety procedures?”

Yet again, Ein nodded as he followed behind Harriet.  Harriet Sheckler was one of the librarians at the college library.  She was an inch or two taller than Ein, which didn’t mean much.  She had brown hair and wore light, almost grandmother-looking glasses.  She was thin as a rail and always wore big cargo pants and some kind of protest or hand-me-down t-shirt.  All in all, she wasn’t much to look at.  To everyone other than Eisenhower, that is.  Eisenhower had been in love with her since day one, and as usual, unable to say anything.

“So if he’s dead and his lawyer contacted you, did you get an inheritance?” she asked, getting slightly excited and turning to face Ein.

Ein nodded, “Oh Yeah, that’s what I have been trying to tell you-“

Harriet cut him off.  “Holy crap!  Are you rich now?!”

Ein’s face grimaced with his social anxiety as he yelped out, “No!”

Everyone in the library looked at them angrily.  Harriet shook her head.  “Quiet, Ein.”

Ein did an awkward ‘I’m sorry’ hand gesture to the angry patrons before he turned back toward Harriet.  “I’m Sorry…  No I’m not rich, I mean he did leave me twenty thousand dollars, but that’s not even going to cover my school loans.  After all, his company had gone down like a year ago Harry.  He was broke.”

Harriet’s face lit up, “Oh yeah, I had forgot about that.  So what’s wrong?”

Ein’s face became pinched, “He left me something else.”

Harriet raised an eyebrow, looking interested.  “What did he leave you?”

Ein Told her.

“HE LEFT YOU A WHAT?!” Harriet yelled in shock as the patrons, yet again, spun around in anger.

****

“He left you a fucking oil rig?”  Thad followed this question with laughter as he drank his beer.

They were in Thad’s place, a rented room in a house that was close to the campus.   Thad had packed as much stuff into the place as he could; a bed, a mini refrigerator, a TV… Needless to say it would be hard to move.

Ein was sitting on the top of the refrigerator sipping a coke, concerned about how cold his butt was getting.  “Yeah, a decommissioned oil rig out in the Pacific.”

Thad laughed again and slapped his knee, “Wow, did that guy know you, or what?  He leaves his protester, eco-friendly son a decommissioned oil rig.  Brilliant.”

Ein nodded and Thad continued, taking another drink first.  “So what are you going to do with it?”

Ein rolled his eyes and sighed.  “I have no idea.  I was going to see if I could get any money out of it but I did some research online and found out that it's got so much out of date technology, no one is going to want it.  I thought maybe I could just give it to the government or something.  Maybe they would give me a write off.  Oh, but get this, it’s in international waters.”

Thad’s face scrunched, “What?”

Ein opened the refrigerator between his legs and took another drink of his Coke.  “Yep, international waters.  I guess they recently re-drew the lines and this rig sits just outside of it.  So, I can’t give it to the government, because they don’t have jurisdiction over it.”

Thad sat up in his bed, his face contorted with the idea he was having.  “So if this thing isn’t in American territory, then… there are no laws?”

Ein thought about it and nodded, “Well I guess not.”

Thad’s face parted in a grin.  “No laws?  No cops?  No rules?”

Ein caught up to where his friend was going with this thought.  “No!  Absolutely not!”

“Come on, “ Thad pleaded, “it’s coming up on spring break.  The pops gave you twenty grand, which is plenty to get out here!  We could take some beer, maybe some chicks?”

“First off,” Ein began, “no.  Secondly, we don’t know any chicks!”

Thad shrugged, “Fair enough.  Harsh, but fair.  I know someone who could find some chicks, and then you could always invite Harriet.”

Ein’s face of protest started to take a detour at the mention of a week, semi-alone with Harriet.

Thad grinned.  “Oh, I know that face!  That’s the ‘I give up face’!  Come on gimme the word!”

Ein took a deep breath.  “This is a bad idea.”

Thad yelled loudly in triumph then hugged his best friend.  He did not yet, fully understand how terrible of an idea this was.

TO BE CONTIUED…