2
With Friends Like These
Thaddeus Montgomery Turlington tried to control his breathing as he hugged the wall, his brain filing through all the bad events that could happen from what he was thinking of doing. He briefly wondered if Spider-Man ever worried about the bad crap before he swung in, to make the save...
…probably not.
Thad gripped the pipe so tight that his knuckles went white. He was a tall skinny kid about six-feet, five inches tall and maybe 185 pounds soaking wet, whereas, the ripped, shirtless, Mexican death warrior from hell who had Thad’s best friend at Machete point looked like he could take Thad apart with his bare hands.
Ein was Thad’s best friend. What was Thad supposed to do? Just sit there in his swimming trunks and flip-flops waiting for his buddy to be cut from ear to ear? This party was beginning to suck, big time. Thad peeked around the corner again to make sure the unknown Mexican machete master was still looking at Harriet. He was.
Thad took a deep breath, centered himself and raised the pipe. It was now or never.
Time to be a hero...
Thad moved out around the corner and his flip-flops immediately clip-clopped on the metal of the oil rig floor in the corridor. This instantly notified the Mexican of his presence. The Mexican spun his machete point, stopping inches from Thad’s face.
Thad dropped the pipe without hesitation, which clanged to the metal floor with a loud echo.
“I am really, really, really sorry!” Thad desperately begged, as he stared down the blade.
Harriet, however, saw her chance. She took a deep breath.
Time to be a hero…
****
Before everyone was trying to be a hero.
“So your father, the long lost one, is Harrison Holster?” Harriet asked in a low whisper, so as not to bother the rest of the library patrons.
Ein shrugged, then kind of nodded. “Yeah… er… well, no, or he was anyway. As it turns out, he’s dead.”
Harriet responded with a cold expression. “Well, good. Not for you, but the guy was a dirt bag. I mean, didn’t we help organize a protest on his company’s safety procedures?”
Yet again, Ein nodded as he followed behind Harriet. Harriet Sheckler was one of the librarians at the college library. She was an inch or two taller than Ein, which didn’t mean much. She had brown hair and wore light, almost grandmother-looking glasses. She was thin as a rail and always wore big cargo pants and some kind of protest or hand-me-down t-shirt. All in all, she wasn’t much to look at. To everyone other than Eisenhower, that is. Eisenhower had been in love with her since day one, and as usual, unable to say anything.
“So if he’s dead and his lawyer contacted you, did you get an inheritance?” she asked, getting slightly excited and turning to face Ein.
Ein nodded, “Oh Yeah, that’s what I have been trying to tell you-“
Harriet cut him off. “Holy crap! Are you rich now?!”
Ein’s face grimaced with his social anxiety as he yelped out, “No!”
Everyone in the library looked at them angrily. Harriet shook her head. “Quiet, Ein.”
Ein did an awkward ‘I’m sorry’ hand gesture to the angry patrons before he turned back toward Harriet. “I’m Sorry… No I’m not rich, I mean he did leave me twenty thousand dollars, but that’s not even going to cover my school loans. After all, his company had gone down like a year ago Harry. He was broke.”
Harriet’s face lit up, “Oh yeah, I had forgot about that. So what’s wrong?”
Ein’s face became pinched, “He left me something else.”
Harriet raised an eyebrow, looking interested. “What did he leave you?”
Ein Told her.
“HE LEFT YOU A WHAT?!” Harriet yelled in shock as the patrons, yet again, spun around in anger.
****
“He left you a fucking oil rig?” Thad followed this question with laughter as he drank his beer.
They were in Thad’s place, a rented room in a house that was close to the campus. Thad had packed as much stuff into the place as he could; a bed, a mini refrigerator, a TV… Needless to say it would be hard to move.
Ein was sitting on the top of the refrigerator sipping a coke, concerned about how cold his butt was getting. “Yeah, a decommissioned oil rig out in the Pacific.”
Thad laughed again and slapped his knee, “Wow, did that guy know you, or what? He leaves his protester, eco-friendly son a decommissioned oil rig. Brilliant.”
Ein nodded and Thad continued, taking another drink first. “So what are you going to do with it?”
Ein rolled his eyes and sighed. “I have no idea. I was going to see if I could get any money out of it but I did some research online and found out that it's got so much out of date technology, no one is going to want it. I thought maybe I could just give it to the government or something. Maybe they would give me a write off. Oh, but get this, it’s in international waters.”
Thad’s face scrunched, “What?”
Ein opened the refrigerator between his legs and took another drink of his Coke. “Yep, international waters. I guess they recently re-drew the lines and this rig sits just outside of it. So, I can’t give it to the government, because they don’t have jurisdiction over it.”
Thad sat up in his bed, his face contorted with the idea he was having. “So if this thing isn’t in American territory, then… there are no laws?”
Ein thought about it and nodded, “Well I guess not.”
Thad’s face parted in a grin. “No laws? No cops? No rules?”
Ein caught up to where his friend was going with this thought. “No! Absolutely not!”
“Come on, “ Thad pleaded, “it’s coming up on spring break. The pops gave you twenty grand, which is plenty to get out here! We could take some beer, maybe some chicks?”
“First off,” Ein began, “no. Secondly, we don’t know any chicks!”
Thad shrugged, “Fair enough. Harsh, but fair. I know someone who could find some chicks, and then you could always invite Harriet.”
Ein’s face of protest started to take a detour at the mention of a week, semi-alone with Harriet.
Thad grinned. “Oh, I know that face! That’s the ‘I give up face’! Come on gimme the word!”
Ein took a deep breath. “This is a bad idea.”
Thad yelled loudly in triumph then hugged his best friend. He did not yet, fully understand how terrible of an idea this was.
TO BE CONTIUED…
Oh I like this storyline!
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